Hardly lacking, but lonely — why that’s actually a sign
Discover why most women miss it — and how leaning into it can unlock your next level.
With two toddlers, a full inbox, prayer requests rolling in, and content that needed to go out yesterday…
You’d think I wouldn’t have time to feel lonely.
But lately? I’ve been waking up with a familiar heaviness.
Not depression. Not burnout.
Just this slow, aching question whispering beneath all the doing:
Why do I still feel alone in the middle of everything I’m carrying?
And I want to say this for the woman who feels it too:
Your loneliness isn’t always about lack.
Sometimes, it’s the Holy Spirit pulling you apart to set you apart.
Not to isolate you — but to invite you closer.
Not to punish you — but to position you for something sacred.
The Revelation:
God is a Jealous Lover
The ache you feel? That longing?
That unshakable sense that something’s missing — even when you’re “doing all the right things”?
It might just be God saying:
“You’ve given everyone else access. Now I want intimacy.”
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.” — Hosea 2:14
The wilderness isn’t punishment. It’s a setup.
It’s where God strips the noise so He can speak in whispers.
And if I’m honest… I’ve been so full of doing for God that I forgot how to just be with Him.
What God Showed Me:
1. I wasn’t just overwhelmed — I was distracted.
I had made quiet time transactional.
I was journaling but not resting. Praying but not listening.
“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10
2. I was looking for connection in the wrong places.
Even ministry can become a mask when your heart is craving intimacy.
When you’re pouring for everyone else, it’s easy to confuse exhaustion with obedience.
3. God wasn’t asking for more performance — He was asking for more presence.
And that’s when He brought me back to Isaiah 43:19 — again.
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth — do you not perceive it?”
This time, it hit different.
Because I realized: the new thing wasn’t coming around me — it was happening in me.
But I had to slow down long enough to perceive it.
5 Anchors for the Woman in the Fog
1. Don’t confuse silence with abandonment.
Just because He’s quiet doesn’t mean He left.
The absence of noise isn’t the absence of God — it’s often the atmosphere where intimacy is forged.
Sometimes, God lowers the volume of the world so you can hear the whisper of heaven.
Sometimes, He withholds answers to develop your discernment.
“Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls…” — Psalm 42:7
His silence isn’t rejection — it’s a summons to come closer.
2. Stop performing. Start participating.
God never asked you to perform perfection.
He asked you to partner with Him in presence.
This is not about curated quiet times or polished devotionals.
This is about showing up as you are — breath shaky, posture surrendered.
Participation might look like:
Sitting still with tears and worship
Whispering, “God, I’m here,” even when you have no eloquent words
Trusting that even your stillness is a weapon in the Spirit
You don’t have to impress God.
You just have to let Him in.
3. Speak truth out loud.
The fog will lie to you.
It’ll say you’re off track. Too late. Too broken. Too tired.
But your feelings are not your foundation. Your faith is.
There’s power in your voice.
The moment you start declaring what God says, heaven responds.
“You will decree a thing, and it will be established for you…” — Job 22:28
Your declarations will lead you out of darkness before your emotions catch up.
Say it anyway.
4. Let loneliness reveal your idols.
Sometimes, our ache exposes what we’ve been running to.
Ask yourself:
Who do I run to first?
What do I scroll to numb this ache?
What do I believe will fill me… that always leaves me empty?
God isn’t trying to shame you — He’s trying to woo you back.
Let your ache become an altar.
Let it redirect your trust back to the Source.
5. Receive the invitation — not the shame.
That funk? That heaviness?
It’s not proof you’re far from God — it might be proof He’s near.
The fog isn’t always demonic.
Sometimes it’s divine.
A holy pause. A reset. A quiet ask to slow down and come closer.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9
Your weakness doesn’t disqualify your anointing.
It creates space for grace to take over.
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A Few Questions to Help You Hear Him More Clearly:
Where am I still performing for God instead of partnering with Him?
What “new thing” might God be doing in me that I haven’t perceived yet?
What does intimacy with God look like in this season — practically?
Scripture Meditation This Week:
Isaiah 43:19 — God is doing a new thing now. Can you perceive it?
Hosea 2:14 — He draws us into the wilderness to speak tenderly.
Psalm 139:7–10 — Even when we feel alone, His presence surrounds us.
James 4:8 — “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.”
A Short Prayer for Loneliness
Lord,
I feel the ache — quiet, but heavy.
Surrounded, yet still somehow unseen.
But I know this isn’t punishment — it’s a pull.
You’re drawing me closer.
Calling me into deeper intimacy.
Whispering, “Let Me be enough again.”
So I surrender the ache.
I trade isolation for encounter.
Let this emptiness make room for Your presence.
You are near.
And that’s enough.
Amen.
Midweek Prayer Call
Wednesday @ 8PM EST
You’ve been carrying a lot.
But what if the clarity you’ve been craving isn’t out there — it’s right here?
Come through.
Bring the ache. Bring your journal. Bring your whole heart.
God’s doing something new — and the shift already started.
You don’t have to strive. You just have to perceive it.
I’ll meet you there.
With fire + focus,
Erika 🤍